‘I wanted to write the book Ashley never got the chance to write’

The heartbroken sister of a teenage boy who passed after a long battle with cancer has opened up about her grief and her hopes of publishing the book her brother always wanted to write.

Beverley Joseph’s only sibling, Ashley was just 17-years-old when he lost his fight with osteosarcoma, a form of bone cancer and passed away in 2004.

London-born Beverley (30) admits that writing the book documenting her and her brother’s life growing up in London has been a key factor in the grieving process and a way to honour the memory of the much-loved young man who was taken before his time.

Beverley and her mum and dad are originally from the UK but relocated to Ireland seven years ago to move closer to family in Ballivor.

The talented author has just released her first children’s book and says the process has made her more determined than ever to share her brother’s story.

"Ashley was the best brother a girl could ask for. He was always really supportive and very encouraging. Everyone who knew him said he was so charismatic," said Beverley.

"We were the only two siblings and I suppose that brings you closer together as well.

"He was such a brave soul and really energetic, a very positive person who wanted to make a difference in the world.

"The first time he was diagnosed with cancer he was 11-and-a-half and he passed away in 2004 so it was a long journey."

Beverley says after her brother’s death she vowed to "write the book he never got the chance to write."

"He always used to say when I get better I’m going to write a book about my experiences to encourage other people that you can still stay positive even though you are ill because he obviously he hoped and believed that he would get better but he didn’t unfortunately.

"There was a nun in the hospice who was the go to person if someone wanted emotional support or if somebody to pray with them and I just used to avoid her because I didn’t want to accept what was happening.

"I remember her asking me how are you preparing for his death and that wasn’t really something I wanted to hear at the time.

"The day he was passing away he had just fallen into a coma and the doctors came and told us that he hadn’t long left so say your goodbyes and I remember being very distraught and I was just hoping that he would get better.

"In the room as he was passing away I felt someone’s arms around me and I looked around and it was the nun.

"I remember telling her you know I really thought he’d get better, he wanted to do so many great things and he wanted to write this book and she said to me, you are going to have to write this book for him.

"So that really gave me a lot of motivation and I suppose courage and that’s exactly what you need at the time, you need something that is meaningful to focus on."

Delving back into childhood right up until Ashley’s illness was a therapeutic experience according to Beverley.

"At the time I didn’t feel ready to do it but about three or four years after that I started writing the book.

"I never got it published but once I got the contract for the children’s book I started thinking about the book about Ashley.

"Parts are not easy to read but the whole point of it is to be positive and to give support to families who are going through similar times and give courage to others.

"I start off from the time he was born and after a few years to when I come in and from my earliest childhood memories about him until the very end as well.

"It was a therapeutic experience and I’m glad I wrote it at the time a few years after he passed away so at the time the memories were quite fresh I suppose; those memories are there but maybe not as vivid."

The author says grieving for their brother and son is not easy but having faith can help you a long the way.

"I’m a Christian and when you have a faith, it is about having a relationship with god and implementing that in your life in every area, that really helps you, having positive people around you."

Moving to Ireland to be closer to family has also made a positive impact on the Joseph’s.

"We moved here about eight years ago, I grew up in London and at at the time it was getting quite busy and you could see how the dynamic was changing and my uncle lived here in Ireland and we used to come to visit quite often.

"We really enjoyed our time but we saw it as somewhere we’d come for a holiday but then I just remember my parents and I thinking that would be good for us and it felt like the right thing to do. It felt good to be around family.

"We fell in love with what was around us in the countryside and the people and how friendly they are so we decided to stay."