‘When I was on the pitch, I was just Damien and the world stood still’

LOUISE WALSH

When Seneschalstown stalwart Damien Sheridan returned home from England he felt isolated from the rest of school society. With a different accent from most of the other students he was often left on the outside looking in. One day he was punched in the face and suffered sectarian abuse. However the GAA field soon became the place where he could be himself and he went on to win two All-Irelands. Just over 18 months ago he was forced to hang up his boots because of concussion. “When I was on the pitch, I was just Damien and the world stood still," said the former Meath GAA footballer as he spoke about how the sport provided him with an escape from the social isolation that he felt at school.

Damien Sheridan has now hung up his footballing boots but admits that it was a struggle to give up the sport that gave him a lifeline, despite developing a brain injury from numerous concussions during his career.

The 41 year old who works as Promotional Officer and Project Lead for Disability and Inclusion Projects with the GAA now gives talks on his story to encourage kids to open up about any problems they may be experiencing.

"I was born here but we had to move to Birmingham for 10 years because of my dad's work so I developed an accent which was part of the problem when we came back," he said.

The transition to life in Ireland was for from smooth for the youngster.

"Mam and Dad, Geraldine and Damien, were heavily involved in underage GAA in Birmingham and we had good friends there but then my dad moved back to Ireland again after being offered a job. Dad and I moved home a few months before the rest of the family.

"I was 16 coming back and starting secondary school in Navan. The troubles in the North were still going on so my accent wasn't really appreciated and I was socially isolated.

"I had no friends. I used to walk around the yard on my own during school break times. On the way home, I'd walk close enough to a crowd so it looked like I was part of it, but far enough away so they wouldn't notice I was trying to join in.

"I was searching for acceptance that I never got. I'm not blaming the school or anyone, I'm just telling my story in the hope that it might help someone else.

"I suppose when I joined the school, people had already made their own friend groups and someone would have to go out on a limb to include me. I had hello friends. The guys who would say hello but that was it.

"When I got home after school, Dad was still working so I'd be on my own for a few hours and I became anxious. I'd turn the TV on and then off and I'd end up sitting in silence on my own in the house until Dad returned.

"Once I was punched in the face at school and I had a panic attack and cried because I'd never been hit before. When I got back to class, there was sectarian slurs written across my copy and I was sniggered at because I had cried.

"I'll never forget that day. I could tell you what the weather was like, the number on the door, everything."

"After being on my own in the yard at break times, I then found an empty classroom where I'd go and do my homework. I struggled with the subjects, after being in school for so long in England.

"My brother Joe started secondary school when I was in 4th year. He had started back in primary school so made friends easier and was very popular, but I couldn't start hanging around with my younger brother.

"All I wanted to do was to play football but I couldn't seem to make the team until my Leaving Certificate year. It was on the pitch where I could sigh, be Damien and the whole world would stop. I felt acceptance, I felt that I was good enough at something.

"I was on a double All-Ireland winning school team. I was part of making history for the school. My name is on two panels of glass above the school's library door but that doesn't mean anything to me because I hated school.

“It was the saddest time of my life. All I wanted was a bit of friendship, to be able to have a bit of craic with the lads, a bit of social acceptance that I never got."

Damien started playing GAA with his native Seneschalstown and with Meath and says that looking back, he sees now that he placed huge demands on himself on the pitch.

"I was intense. I never wanted anyone to question if I was good enough. My brother Joe, I suppose was a household name and my other brother Brian was probably the best footballer of us all so I was constantly trying to prove myself to me."

After years of playing football, Damien found himself in hospital after he 'blacked out' in his garden about seven years ago.

"The doctors told me that I had sustained some damage to my brain from all the concussions I suffered from playing football.

“They advised me to stop playing and in that moment, my world disappeared. I wasn't ready to leave football, it seemed to be taken away from me.

"I was told that if I had another bad knock that I'd be on medication for life.

"I have a picture of my dad holding my hand, after winning a match against Navan O'Mahonys. That's what I wanted for my children who were very small at the time.

"I couldn't let go of the beast. So I started to play again.

"The happiest time of my life was playing a Championship final for Seneschalstown against Navan O'Mahonys. I glanced over to see my little boy Damien on the terrace cheering for me and my daughter Lucy running out to me at the final whistle to tell me she loved me and was so proud of me. I was their super hero. In that split second, the world stopped again and I thought, this is all I need, nothing more.

"My dad came up to me, shook my hand and said that maybe this is time to stop playing. I suddenly realised that I was good enough."

He would love to be able to play once again and relive the golden days.

"I still miss it after 18 months and would do anything to put the boots back on but I've struggled with headaches and brain fog so I can't go back, even if I wanted to.

"To anyone, I'd say enjoy the moment and don't get over excited with the ups of life or too sad in the downs. Only the strongest people will talk about their feelings. I'm a yapper now but I wasn't back them and everyone has a day in their life when they need help.

"We are a very close family. Everytime I went home, I realised I was loved without anyone saying it to me but I didn't allow myself to ask for help."