‘If I can prevent any other family from experiencing what we’ve gone through, I’d do it, day in, day out’

A GRIEVING mother has told of how a charity helped her come to terms with the devastating loss of her son to suicide when he was just 14 years old.

The community in Duleek was left reeling and his family heartbroken when Ryan Whelan Griffin died suddenly in 2022.

The popular youngster was the son of Rebecca and Shane and older brother to Dylan.

Since the tragic event, the inspirational mum has made it her mission to fundraise for Pieta, the suicide prevention and counselling service and highlight the support the charity offers to families affected by suicide.

Last year, fearless Rebecca abseiled 120 feet off the sheer rock face of Dalkey quarry as part of a fundraiser for Pieta and in 2023 organised the first Darkness into Light walk in memory of her cherished son.

Recently the Duleek mum has taken part in a campaign to explain to donors to the charity what their support means to families coping with the loss of a loved one.

As part of the campaign, a powerful letter written by Rebecca sharing her heart wrenching story was distributed to those kind enough to donate to Pieta.

The emotive tribute to her son has reached far and wide and the Duleek woman has been contacted by people as far away as Luxembourg who received the letter.

It comes as Pieta warned earlier this month that it may not be able to continue its services indefinitely, unless it gets increased income from Government.

"If I can prevent any other family from experiencing what we have gone through, I'd do it, day in, day out to help out,” said Rebecca.

"It is a horrendous thing to experience and I don't think any family should ever feel like that,” she added.

In her letter Rebecca said that up to two years ago she could "never have even imagined" how important Pieta would become to her family.

She added that on the estate where her family lived, there are "loads of other kids and a huge green outside their door" where youngsters were always playing some game or other.

And if there was fun to be had, you'd find Ryan in the middle of it.

The letter goes on to say that:

"Ryan was so full of life, he brought joy to every room he walked into. He was sports mad. He loved Manchester United and Drogheda United and he loved his dog Bailey.

"When you look back, you can overanalyse everything but we had no way of knowing that our world was about to come crashing in around us.

"When Ryan died, we had no idea what to do or say. When something like that happens, it's like you look for the adult in the room. Then you realise you are the adult in the room, you're the one who is supposed to have all of the answers.

"But we weren’t alone. You quickly see how many people were touched by Ryan’s death. And everybody wanted to help.

You realise that there is a ripple effect that hits a whole community and beyond."

Rebecca said the support her family received from the community was incredible but help from trained professionals was also needed.

"We were given a business card for Pieta at the time Ryan passed away, I put it in my wallet and a couple weeks later I found the card and decided to give them a call.

"The woman that took my call was one of the nicest people I have ever spoken to in my life.

"Marianne visited us regularly for a few months, that was massive for us. Since then the bereavement therapy I have received from Pieta has changed my life. But that incredible support doesn’t just happen. It is put there by people like you.

The 24-Hour Crisis Helpline & Text Service is 1800 247 247

"I miss my son more than words can say, So thank you for letting me share this story with you.” Rebecca signed off her message by saying:

"Everyone’s experience of suicide is different but I want you to know the support we have received from Pieta and kind people like you has changed our lives and given us hope again.”

Wanting to help other people affected by suicide, brave Rebecca created the first Darkness into Light in Duleek in 2023 which was a huge success and an event that is set to continue every year in memory of Ryan.

“This year for Darkness we went down to the local school and we got all the kids to wear yellow and they spelled out ‘Hope’ outside and that is my aim to create awareness and to let young people know that there is support there for them if they ever need it,” she said.

Working to raise mental health awareness is one of the things that is keeping Rebecca focused and busy as she explains:

"I have another son and that is my reason for keeping going, If I didn’t have him, I don’t know where I’d be," she said.

"I still have to get up in the morning, I still have to get dressed and face the world," added the heartbroken mum.

"When something happens like this, everyone else’s lives continue on and so it’s also important to encourage Dylan to check in on his friends to make sure they are ok.

"My aim at the moment is to keep busy and if I can prevent any other family going through what we have gone through then it will be worth it, that has become my driving force."

The 24-Hour Crisis Helpline & Text Service is 1800 247 247

Remembering happier times with her late son, Rebecca said:

"Ryan was born five weeks premature and came into the world in a ball of panic!

"He was running before he could walk. He loved being outdoors and playing with his brother and his dog was his whole world."

The bereaved parents have come to term with the fact that they will never have a definitive answer as to why their son made the decision to end his life.

"Myself and my husband can go back and forth over everything and overanalyse everything but we don't have the answer. I do think Covid had a lot to do with it, for someone who was so extraverted and so used to be out socialising all day and everyday to spend so long restricted and not having the normal outlets was tough for him.

"Pieta really helped with that element of breaking it down and explaining that a child at that age lives very much in the moment. They really encouraged us not to focus on how he died but to focus on how he lived which I think is very important."

Rebecca plans to continue highlighting the vital service Pieta provides and hopes that it will also keep Ryan's memory alive.

"I want to keep him with us, I think he’d love being the centre of attention now!

"Next year’s Darkness into Light will fall on Ryan's 18th birthday so we are planning for that.

"The night before this year's walk that was on Ryan’s birthday the Northern Lights beamed across Duleek so it felt like it was a sign that we were doing the right thing.

"We have to keep letting people know that there is nothing that can’t be fixed, no matter what is happening you can always find someone to talk to."

Pieta's annual report published earlier this month showed the charity provided nearly 51,000 hours of professional intervention and bereavement counselling in 2023.

In addition, more than 103,000 calls and texts were received from individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts, self-harm or the loss of a loved one to suicide.

Pieta’s 23 centres across the Republic supported almost 7,000 people through in-person counselling and 4, 600 more through remote counselling over the phone and on video.

The charity also operates a Resilience Academy which is a six-week programme aimed at second-year students, designed to foster emotional resilience. Some 40 per cent of Pieta’s clients are under 18.

The 24-Hour Crisis Helpline & Text Service is 1800 247 247