Paul Hopkins: Are women the worst critics of women

Donald J Trump has returned as the 47th President of America having beaten Democratic rival Kamala Harris by nearly five million ballots and a good majority of the electoral ballot.

Elvia Trossman, my friend in New Jersey, a professional and mother of two and a Coloured woman, says that not enough women, who the Democrats were counting on, particularly with Trump's overturning of Roe v Wade, came out and voted for Harris – that women are women's own worst critics. Typically, women felt Harris was not focussed on the issues of inflation and immigration, many wrongly arguing she did not have experience,

Up to 45 per cent of women who voted did so for Trump.

Pittsburgh-born Brooklyn resident Jade Murman, who works in the hospitality sector, says: "The pessimist in me thinks women are women's worst critics... and it stems from the behaviour of men, for example women being called bossy and such in the workplace. But I do think there is a turn where people online are trying to be less critical because of the keyboard warriors always having something negative to say."

The other day, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between a group of women having lunch in the coffee shop. They were eyeing another foursome strolling by when one of them said: "Sheila doesn't look on top of her game." Another chimed in, "Yea, but Laurie looks great. I heard she went on a 'golf getaway' and returned a changed woman – totally refreshed, if you know what I mean." Only then did I realise it wasn't athletic prowess that they were critiquing, but the faces and bodies of their fellow females.

Why are women's looks so often a topic of fascination – and criticism – among women themselves? Am I right or wrong in suggesting that women seem so ready to judge the choices their fellow sisters make, from how they handle relationships, children and careers, to how they deal with aging."

My psychologist friend from Magherafelt says: “When a little boy asserts himself, he’s called a ‘leader.’ Yet, when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded ‘bossy.’ Words like “bossy” send a message: Don’t raise your hand or speak up. By late primary school, girls are less interested in leading than boys — a trend that continues into adulthood.”

As in the case of Kamala Harris, women, seemingly, often get the “she’s not qualified” commentary even after achieving accomplishment after accomplishment, as the vice-president has done. Or it’s “She was just lucky,” or “An important male helped her out,” or “She made a mistake.”

When the 33rd Dáil met in February 2020, 36 female TDs took their seats – the highest number of women to be elected in Ireland, but an increase of only one since 2016. Previous elections show that when there is a swing against a political party, the party’s female TDs are disproportionately impacted, as there are so few running. This occurred in 1997 to Labour’s women; in 2002 to Fine Gael’s women; and in 2011 to Fianna Fáil’s.

The National Women’s Council of Ireland argues that candidate selection can be guided by "conscious and unconscious forms of gender bias embedded in ideas about what makes the ideal candidate and these have historically privileged stereotypically male traits".

For November 29, quotas of 40 per cent men and 40 per cent women candidates are required by law. If not reached, parties would lose 50 per cent of their State funding. As of last week all main parties had attained the quota. The various Independent parties had not.

A Fianna Fáil November 29th candidate has told of how she received internal and external “backlash” after being added to the ticket in Offaly, where the party is running two candidates.

Councillor Claire Murray said some local members “have made comments about how I am young, with a seven-year-old and female and inexperienced – but I have 20 years of experience as a nurse. It just doesn’t sit right with me to say that I do not have enough experience. There is almost this charge that I am the token female candidate added to the ticket [because of the quotas] and that does not sit right with me either. I am not a gender quota candidate".

Donald Trump’s defeat of Kamala Harris has shown that women’s rights – specifically the right to abortion – was less of a key issue than expected. Harris made much of Trump’s stance on reproductive rights. However, polls showed Harris had won the support of 54 per cent of women.

So what happened to the female vote?