‘It’s a blessing to have this platform and to try and reach out and help people’

A SOCIAL media star from Meath Hill who came out as transgender on TikTok before telling his family says the platform has given him a voice and allowed him to support others on their journey.

Jacob Donegan (21), who now has 1.2 million followers and was one of Ireland’s most watched creators on TikTok last year says he found his tribe on the video hosting service after revealing a secret about his life that nobody knew.

Fast forward five years and the young man who once found himself in such a dark place he tried to take his own life is now a mentor to others struggling with their identity but maintains is his rise to social media stardom was an accident.

"There was an app called Musical.ly which is now basically TikTok," he said. In 2015 I started on this app and I put videos up for myself just for a bit of fun and one of them in 2015/2016 became noticed and numbers started going up, whereas I was only having ten likes overnight it went to 10,000 and it grew very fast and from there I just started gaining followers.

"I was over the moon, I couldn't believe it. The fact that this was going from 10,000 to 12,000 and rising I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"I started getting more followers at that point as I started to share my transgender story and share my journey."

Jacob knew from a young age that he was different but suffered in silence until a global online community embraced him as he explains:

"In my personal life I wasn't accepted, I was quite lonely in my teenage years. Funnily enough as much as people say the internet is an edgy place it was the first place I felt more comfortable in to actually say who I really was and I was accepted which is a powerful thing.

"It gave me that strength to see that even if people in my personal life are not going to help me to push forward then I can do it myself."

Jacob's family initially found his transition difficult to come to terms with but says now that his mum, Karen is his biggest supporter. He added:

"It was hard feeling alone in a place that nobody understood and my family were going through their own change where they were seeing their little girl disappear, I had to understand that too. It was a big weight for many years and I carried it by myself.

"It was a relief to be able to speak out. I feel now that I have that voice especially with my own platform I can give that help that I wish I'd had as a young child. I can speak up as who I am instead of who people want me to be."

The social media maestro admits there was a time he thought there was no way out but that dark period led to better times.

"When I was 16 I made a decision that I now regret to this day of trying to take my own life" says Jacob. It was a hard time but I do believe with each negative there is always a positive. I was so blessed to get a second chance and through that happening my mam became my biggest supporter.

"The doctor that was looking after me referred to me as Jacob and was actually the first adult to do so. He put me forward to starting my medical transition. But even after being referred forward it is a long process."

"It's a blessing to have this platform and to try to reach out and help people," he said. I have found my stepping stone forward to what I want to do in my future and that is to help people who are struggling whether that's with mental health, bullying or LGBTQ. I've gone through them all and I understand them all. I'm going to be going into schools from January and sharing my story."

One of the mental health advocate's most passionate project's is Real Talk with Jacob, a TikTok series where he answers questions about his gender transition journey. He has plans to speak in schools on LGBTQ+ issues following his success on the platform.

"With Real Talk with Jacob, I give people the opportunity who feel like they are walking on egg shells when they are asking questions to do with the gender transition. Often people don't want to ask because they might offend. I have no problem answering anything about the transition journey as long as it's for educational purposes."

It was a simple incident as a young child that would define Jacob's life going forward as he explains:

"When I was five or six I was out with my dad and I saw a magazine, I was only young and I couldn't really read but what I could see was 'girl changed to guy at nine-years-old.' I remember pointing to the magazine and I said to my dad that's me. He didn't pass any heed to it, as parents they didn't understand what was going on, I didn't know what was going on. From that day I kind of realised in myself something was a bit different. I was never your typical little girl, there was no dresses, no Barbies, there was action figures, Spiderman, anything to do with a little boy running around. It's simplicity when you are a child, there's not a label to it."

Jacob's advice to anyone confused about their identity is not get hung up on absolutes.

"My advice to anyone struggling with their identity would be to understand that only they know who they are, because they know themselves best.

" When facing that confusing feeling of who we are, we go into panic because we feel we need to know what exact label fits us, may that be with sexuality, identity or gender.

"But realising there is no timeframe and absolutely no right or wrong answer to finding and knowing your true identity despite societies expectations or other peoples limitations will take that pressure off their shoulders."